i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
