I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
