Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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