Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
