I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We're too hungover to prance.
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