Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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