How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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