i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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