His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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