he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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