Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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