Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
