well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
