Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
