Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
