I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
