spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
