Soap is not a condiment
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize