Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
