Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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