he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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