I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
