Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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