so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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