there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
