don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
