I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
