just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
