Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
