Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
