there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
