You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
