im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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