I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
