I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
