We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
