so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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