dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
