So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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