I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
