i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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