i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
