i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
