I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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