I feel great
I just peed on a car
I've blown a few things in my day
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
