Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize