Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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