So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
