It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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