Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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