So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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