did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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