We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
