She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I need moral support for this bender
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
