Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
