watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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