He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
