You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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