so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
